I’ve been in a romantic relationship for almost 5 months now and I like to talk about him with my friends and vice versa. However, many of my friends get annoyed when I talk about him or say that I’m shoving him in their faces. Is it wrong if I want to talk about him sometimes?
—Sam, she/her, 19
There’s a skill that every human needs to learn, especially when something wonderful happens to them: Tact. The first few months of a relationship can feel like the highest pinnacle of joy, an indescribable burst of affection for another person that makes you want to talk about them constantly. But, as amazing as your new boo might be, that doesn’t mean you should blab about him all the time. A bit of restraint is in order.
First off, not all friends have equal capacity to be happy for you right now. Stories of your new love might press pain-points on some people and not others. Your job is to take stock of each person’s situation: One friend might be single and happy about it, while another friend might be pining for exactly what you have. This person might be coupled and over the moon about it, while that person is fighting with their partner constantly. Choose your confidantes carefully. Other people’s insecurities are not your fault, but it’s kind and thoughtful not to go out of your way to stoke them.
Once you’ve identified a few friends who’d be thrilled for you, by all means gush to them! Then, once you think they’ve had enough, gush to an older sibling, a parent, an aunt. Gush as much as you want in your diary. There’s no reason you should have to suppress your happiness; you just gotta learn how to distribute it wisely.